Battling Your Demons

There is a big part of me that I have not wanted to write about for a long time now, but have needed to express in some way. Not really because of the stigma anymore, I’ve gotten over that with age, but because of the way people perceive those who actually write openly about it. I am one of the many that suffer from anxiety and depression. And no, I am not writing about this to get attention. While this is to help other people realize they are not alone and it is NORMAL, a big reason I’m writing this is that I just need to use this outlet I have created for myself and let it out.

Depression is a tricky beast. Most days I feel perfectly fine. And then out of nowhere it hits me like a brick wall. I can’t work, I can’t watch tv, I can’t see people. I don’t want to sleep, but I don’t want to get up. You feel like there isn’t anything in the world you can do to feel okay in that moment. The only solace you can take is in the fact that you know it will pass. I tell myself “this isn’t real. These are my hormones acting up or a chemical imbalance and it will end. I just have to ride it out.”

The worst part is when your loved ones don’t fully get it and they end up having to face the mess that you are. There have been plenty of moments where I have said or done things I didn’t mean. Most of this is because all of my negative emotions are heightened. Something that would have simply annoyed me normally puts me into a full on rage. It’s not fair. To them or to me. 

As I write this, I am currently having one of those “down days”. I know people look at my perfect looking social media life and don’t get it. How could I feel this way when I have so much? But I guess depression is the great equalizer. Doesn’t matter who you are, what you do, where you’re from… it can infect us all.

So what do I do now? I wait it out. I go through a list of things I am thankful for in my head. I do little things that make me happy (even if I don’t want to) like a face mask or a long shower or a massage. And when it’s gone I will not give that beast a second thought, because it doesn’t deserve the attention. What I will focus on during both my good and bad days is the positive. And that’s how I get through it.

If you ever need someone to talk to about what you are going through, I am always here to help. Just message me and I’ll be your shoulder to lean on.

– Meg

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15 Comments

  1. Gina Diaz
    July 14, 2017 / 5:30 am

    Thank you for sharing and being so honest sweetie. I think the most important is to focus on your blessings every day (stay positive like you said), bad days will always come, and the most important is to have hope and to pray.
    xx. Gina

  2. July 14, 2017 / 7:08 am

    I can’t believe how many of us bloggers struggle with depression. I am another and I have used blogging as an avenue to get through it as much as possible! Thanks for sharing love and you are not alone!

  3. July 14, 2017 / 7:29 am

    I feel you girl. Depression is real and it shouldn’t be something to be taken so lightly. Luckily I my faith in God really grounds me even though I struggle with depression too. It’s not easy to get through some days, but I know my purpose and that there is ultimately more to this world. I consciously practice gratitude because sometimes I can be negative and have this "woe to me" attitude. Let me know if you want to talk about anything as well. You can be a shoulder and I’ll be an ear. 🙂

  4. Eva
    July 14, 2017 / 4:20 pm

    Thank you babe to write this. Many times someone need help and be helped, very nice message to keep it up.Anyone of us have good and bad days .❤️XxEvawww.themermaidfashion.com

  5. July 14, 2017 / 6:09 pm

    You are not alone love! Such a great, positive post for others that may need it. Bad days will come, but the good ones always outshine it. xoxo

  6. July 14, 2017 / 6:21 pm

    Hey Sweetheart:)Hows you?Thank you for sharing your feelings, you are not alone, we all have Fears, Depressions and Fights.I had as well and for me Yoga Meditations helped a lot…Happy WeekendLove KissesOpen Kloset By Karina

  7. July 14, 2017 / 7:26 pm

    Writing it out and talking about it is one of the fort step of making you feel better . You’re being brave about this and I applaude you for it.
    We your readers would be here supporting you !Feel better soon
    Xxxxhttp://www.thenewgirl.me/

  8. Samjah
    July 15, 2017 / 3:33 am

    Meg, thank you for this. This was touching and insightful. You are so bold for sharing this. This will help more people than you know. I pray that one day you won’t suffer from this anymore and you’ll be able to be a testimony through your blog.

  9. July 15, 2017 / 3:35 pm

    Thank you for sharing this and being so honest. It is never an easy thing to talk about this sort of topic. I used to go through periods of what were similar to depression, and I always felt like no one understood me. I agree, I think it’s good to sort of wait it out sometimes but to also try to get back on track and think of positive thoughts. Hope you feel better love <3www.samanthamariko.com

  10. July 16, 2017 / 11:46 pm

    I am so sorry you are going through this but it seems you are on the right track by talking bout it. Do you exercise? I feel so much better when I spin, do yoga, pure bar and sometimes swim. It seems to clear my mind and gives me a physical high. I eat healthy too. Surround yourself with friends and stay busy. Thanks for sharing.
    Xxgracie
    snappedbygracie.com

  11. July 17, 2017 / 1:07 pm

    Thank you so much for sharing this and you are not alone. I have experienced some severe bouts of depression myself and had to seek help. You sound like you are definitely handling it in the best way possible and I wish you success with managing it.

  12. July 18, 2017 / 8:02 am

    Dear Meghan,It’s so important that public figures and role models such as yourself talk about issues like this. You say there’s no stigma left, but I believe it’s still there. I suffer from anxiety attacks and have a history of addiction (which I’m clean from since two years now) and am always grateful when people open up and talk about these issues as mental health is just as important as physical and needs more awareness. Thank you so much for opening up!Love,Thomas

  13. July 18, 2017 / 2:41 pm

    It is so important to be honest and thank you for this. I hope people, that suffer from depression read it and will understand that they are not alone. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
    http://lanaluu.com

  14. July 18, 2017 / 5:02 pm

    thank you for being so open and transparent about this; you are so strong for sharing this! this will help so many people and I hope that it will pass soon love – stay positive! 🙂 <3
    Xo, Samirawww.leathertolunch.com

  15. July 19, 2017 / 3:41 pm

    I think your openness and honesty is truly so admirable. There’s still so many misconceptions and stigmas about depression that will only be enlightened when we as a society begin talking about it in the way you have here. Bravo, dear! Thank you so much for this post.
    xoxo, Jo

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